Letting Go of You.. Months.. and Months a One Life Stand, Over and Over Falling for Your Version of US. My Illusion of US has Burst But Good - now I Grieve, I Let Go

You Turned Out to Be ..
The Best Thing I Never Had.

Wanting You, Craving You
Holding on to the Possibility of you

Month after Month
it was you in my heart
And no room for Another
my thoughts, delusion of you
in my daily Reality a Smother...

and the LIfe I could have been Living
i lost pining away for a woman,
that pushed, pulled, ignored .. spoke oddly.. harsh..
You never could make room for me in her Real Life
yet spoke the words of lust and lore
and the me and you of Forever More...



Thank You Great Spirit
for Removing Her From My Life
for Stopping the Torrid, Constant,
Confusing Heart Break..

Every time Your Energy my Way
i opened again to the Illusion of
a Momentary US a Future US
any Crumb you Will Give
Forgetting the Incredible Catch AM I..

Self Esteem Rattled by Someone
who Did not Love me For "Real" 
anyway and constantly confused me,
why did i hang on to an illusion
of an "idea" i had that in real life
We Would Be and in this Destined
Reality Truly we could Never Be..

Were you Ever Really
Nice to Me ?
It was off and on and
.. well kind of Crazy from The Start
yet i loved how you talked to me
about US, about Passion, about your life
and my entering your all..

It was Really Like you Were 2 Different People
yet Claimed I acted as Such..
Chaos Flips and Surrounds and the Mind of US
again my Allowance of Such Love a Let Down...

Does it Always Turn out "This Way" ??